Ep. 16 - Monica Patton.mp3
Monica Patton: [00:00:01] So end of the year recap. So how do you feel? How are you feeling is I think we all have lots of thoughts at at the end of a season, at the end of a long year, um, reflection, maybe exhaustion. Um. I've been thinking about that here lately, and I was actually forced to think about it here lately, just going into the holiday season. Uh, that's my other thing is holiday reminders. And these these are reminders that I've needed for myself. And so maybe you'll find them helpful too. So going into the maybe. How are you feeling? And I'm just going to tell you how I've been feeling is really tired and maxed out, honestly. So I've had to reevaluate what I want this season to look like not just wait till like, hey, in 2024, I'm going to do this, this and this, okay? But I want to do this now because I actually want to enjoy the holidays. So this is like I said, this is not, um, I'm preaching to myself here. And so these are some things I'm learning and thinking about is. You know, how often do we really truly think about why we're doing what we're doing. And when you talk specifically about holidays, it's like, you know, I've got to go here. I've got to do this. I've got to get this gift. I've got to go to this gathering. I've got to, you know, the list is like endless. And a lot of them are things, like all some things, like really good things that you want to be a part of, people you want to be with, things you want to do. But when you get down to it ,how does like, why are you doing it? Are you doing it because you want to or you think that you should do it? I hate that word should. But don't we live there a lot? Like I should want to do that or I should do that. I should go there. I should get this gift for that person. I should make this homemade. Dish that looks amazing. You know, it's it's like what matters most. This is a question that I'm asking myself right now is what matters most? Is it about the perfect gift? My house looking perfect? Is it about, you know, doing all the things that we feel like we got to do during this, during this time and, you know. Everybody is going to answer that differently.

Monica Patton: [00:05:11] But for me. I'll say, what matters most is that I am in a healthy place myself so I can give the people I love most friends and family the best of me and also enjoy it, right? Not be miserable. And it sounds terrible when you say that as a mother, but, even if you're not a mom. But just sometimes holidays can be really exhausting and sometimes not fun. So, what do we do about that? What I do about it, and that's kind of what I've been thinking, is just. First of all, be intentional about why you're doing what you're doing. And for me, I've had to make a list of that of like, what are those things that I can. What do I feel like I need to do? And then why did I need to do that? Don't really need to do that. Like I literally have this conversation with myself sometimes who told me I have to do this? And it's lots of times it's like I've told myself, like I get. I can get aggravated like, oh, you know, they said, I've got to do this. And you know, you put it off on the other person. It's like, I think I'm telling myself that I got to do this. And so just really kind of reflecting on that, what can I limit, what can I eliminate? So I made a list the other day of a long list of what are very dry things that are very draining to me, and things that bring life and kind of refuel me. And so going over that list of things that are draining, those are some things are really, really good. Like, you know, kids, kids events, you know, work, you know, it's things that you're not going to be able to eliminate. You don't want to eliminate. Uh, you're not going to cross off your, your family. Okay. But. What are some things that you can't? There are some things that there's a couple of things that I scratch. Um, but. What are those things for you? And. So looking at that and then looking at. On the flip side, not just like, okay, we've we've all got those things that are that take a lot out of us, especially the holidays, especially the holidays. Okay. So how can I what can we do to. Kind of give back to ourselves. And when I say give back to myself, it's like, you know, that might sound selfish, but it's it's like. Me running on empty. Any of us running on empty is not beneficial to you. It's not beneficial to those around you. It just isn't. Um, and so what are those things that. That kind of give you that energy back.

Monica Patton: [00:08:19] And so I think for me as rest saying no to go go into certain places and I was laughing, talking to my sister the other day about, about this very issue and it made me think of my nanny, who we kind of we laughed a lot about the way she was when we were younger, but she would go to one like one place a day lots of times and be like, she's done. And that's as a, as a kid. You think, oh my gosh, you know, you got endless energy when you're younger. And now I kind of get it. It's like, I don't if I don't have to go 20 places in a day, why am I doing this like this? That's exhausting. And so another thing to think about, don't compare and focus on. What everybody else is doing. Think about what works for you. And there again those you love, those closest to you, whatever that is. So those are some little thoughts for the holiday. That's that's what I've been thinking on. And those are just some thoughts to to that I would share. For you to consider, to think about. Because we want to enjoy. We want to enjoy this time of year. So in the in the year of. A year of podcasting, and I've had some really, really great interviews with some awesome, awesome people that I've learned a lot from and gotten to know become friends with some of them.

Monica Patton: [00:09:50] It's really, really been a honestly, there's one of those things that talking about life giving that's life giving for me. And I hope it's helpful for others. And I've had some good feedback and I'm thankful for that. And for those of you that listen. So another thing I wanted to kind of mention is. I guess this is another just sort of end of year thoughts is what is one thing I've learned? This year. And one thing that I still don't know, which there's obviously, I've learned a lot of things. There's obviously a lot that I still don't know. But just to kind of hone in on one thing that I have learned. Is build a support system to help you. And I promise you, you are in someone's support system. You're helping others. Everybody listening here is doing that for somebody else. Or probably multiple people. But. Be. Be very intentional and look at. People around you and your community, and who's good at things that you're not good at that you need help with. Everyone has strengths, everyone has weaknesses. And at this point, I really understand what I'm. Really good at when I'm okay at and then what I'm terrible at. Like, I know those things and we all have them. So, for example, I am a terrible organizer, organization.

Monica Patton: [00:11:37] Those skills are not do not come natural. I am. My desk and my calendar, and things can look like sort of a mad scientist. I mean, it's like chaotic organisation that only makes sense to me. That is something I would like to work on and need to work on a little bit. But I have others in my life that are really good at organization and. I've got a friend that's really good at decorating. I've got a friend that's really good at. I don't know. You name it like I've got lots of friends that are really strong in areas that I'm not. And so. I've just learned to just be okay with. I don't have that nailed and may never actually. Um, my husband's a very good organizer recently. We kind of collectively as a family, did a major clean out organization. I needed his help doing that. It's something that I can't do on my own. Um, just admitting what is really hard. And, yes, we can always improve in some areas and some areas. It's like, I'm just. I'm never going to be a great organizer. It just doesn't come natural. And so all that to say is look at look at where and how others are gifted and tap into that. Ask for help. And as far as. Oh, well, I guess I'll say this too.

Monica Patton: [00:13:12] I did have this thought. Bravery is not ever with absence of I don't know if it's not ever, but bravery doesn't mean there's no fear any around. Like just keep moving then. That's a whole separate topic. But I've learned that too. Is stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something that is hard, being brave, being courageous. I think we look at others and we think, oh my gosh, like, they just that's so easy for them. And and maybe it is. But you can feel fear and move anyway. Okay.

[00:13:50] Next. What I don't know. Okay. I do not have time for all the things I don't know. And I am wise enough and mature enough at this point. You know, you hear when you're younger, it's like, oh yeah, she knows that. She knows everything. He knows everything. I feel like that is a sign of maturity, of when you as you age and grow up and you think, gosh, there's so much I don't know. And so as far as what I don't know is how to let go of some things. And that can be a that can be a laundry list within itself. But it's I'm I am learning to let go. And I would say of like maybe some ideals and actually some letting go, like launching a child. Things I can't control, which is pretty much everything except for myself and also learning to let go of other people's perceptions. And I guess caring about that, I don't know. I mean, aren't we always going to be in the process of maybe trying to accept just people just got their own opinions and that's fine, you know? Um, sometimes I'm I'm really good at that and sometimes not as not as good. And letting go of the idea of them have to, you know, I should have all the things nailed and overcome. And I just think that's not realistic and it's okay.

[00:15:34] So to finalize and sort of just kind of leave you with a question is to think about kind of going back to how I started. What do people I love what do they what do they need the most from me? What do I want to give them the most? Especially this time of year. And I actually when I was, I was thinking about that, it made me think about a quote that I've actually got up in my kitchen that a friend of mine did for me, and I love it. It's a quote of Maya Angelou. And I'll just read it right now. I'll talk about it for a second. "I've learned that people will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." And so I guess I want to just leave with that thought specifically right now for the end of the year, for the holidays is, you know, I think that's so true is.

Monica Patton: [00:16:42] There's no people don't care as much what you tell. I mean, yes, what you say matters. What you do matters. It's not that none of that matters. But at the end of the day, how do you want people to leave feeling, you know, with maybe, you know, when you have people over, when you're around people, how do you want to? Leave people feeling. Um. And I think all of us want people to feel loved and seen and cared for. I mean, that's that's just that's all humans I feel like. So. So, you know, kind of letting that guide you or whatever matters to you, guide you into this season and not letting all the the extra. Craziness kind of just, you know, be on the forefront of that. Um, okay, so I did it. I had I had a lot of thoughts and, hey, maybe it was all over the place because like I said, I can be like that and I'm really, really, I really am going into Christmas myself as just thinking, I've got so much to be thankful for. There's a lot of really good things going on around me, some hard things, and not just with me, but people I love.

Monica Patton: [00:18:06] And, you know, that's just, I guess that's always going to be there. It's never it's not waiting for things to be perfect and all the things to be as they should be. But just, you know, I call it sometimes like the the unicorn day, if you have those unicorn moments, those perfect little moments and days and moments just be. Thankful for them and it won't last. And that's okay. Like that's just life. So I just hope you're able to find some peaceful moments. And be able to share peace with others this holiday. And whatever that means for you, and that you just make time for that and find rest and love wherever you want to find them and and be intentional. And I just want to thank you again for for listening. I hope maybe some of my crazy all over the place thoughts are helpful. Like I said, these are all reminders and thoughts I've I am working on and I hope you, I hope it's helpful for you too. So. Here we come, 2024. Until next time. Thank you for listening to Parts of Us podcast. You can visit our website at parts of US podcast. Net or check us out on Instagram. We would love to hear from you. Whether it be suggestions for the podcast, testimonials, sponsorship opportunities or general feedback, email us at Monica at parts of us podcast.com or reach out to us on our social media.

Narrator: [00:19:49] This podcast represents the views and opinions of Monica Payton and her guests. Its content is presented for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as medical, psychological or legal advice. Please contact a professional for specific questions. This content does not represent any place of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information shared is accurate, comments, suggestions or correction of errors are welcome.