Ep. 14 Daphne Simpson.mp3
Monica Patton: [00:00:01] What does it mean to be completely healthy? Welcome to the podcast, where you'll find encouraging stories to help us focus on all layers of our health the mental, the physical, the emotional, the spiritual. I'm Monica Patton and these are the parts of us. Friendships can be some of our most influential relationships. So why can they be so complicated or hard to find? Especially as adults. I sit down again with Daphne Simpson, therapist of Little River Counseling, to discuss friendships. This conversation is a little different than other episodes less interview style, more like an authentic discussion between friends. We talk about why we all need connection, some lessons we've learned about friendship from personal experience and some creative ways to incorporate time for friends in our busy lives. I hope you leave feeling inspired to find some new friends while appreciating your old ones. Daphne, thank you for coming back.

Daphne Simpson: [00:01:19] Glad you asked me to come back.

Monica Patton: [00:01:21] So you were here a few episodes back. I'll have to look and we'll reference that discussing I guess more your professional background and we discuss several topics. It's a really, really good one. So I would recommend listeners going back and listening to that one. But today this one's going to look a little different and sound a little different, not look maybe sound. Okay, I really have. Been noticing sort of a trend. A lot of conversations, I think specifically since Covid, but I think it was a problem before that. The isolation connection problem. Friendships. Yep. Okay. Especially maybe as adults. But I mean, I know kids struggle with it as well. I don't think it just is adults, but I really wanted us to hone in talking about adult friendships as two women, not just professionals. We are both therapists. Okay? And we'll get into that later, maybe at some point. But I really want us to have an authentic conversation. And it really was based. From meeting a few weeks ago. We had coffee. Yeah. And...

Daphne Simpson: [00:02:42] We got out of our comfort zone.

Monica Patton: [00:02:44] That's true. We got our comfort zone, which.

Daphne Simpson: [00:02:47] I think I initiated.

Monica Patton: [00:02:48] You did.

Daphne Simpson: [00:02:49] You asked me to go and talk about stuff, so.

Monica Patton: [00:02:51] Yeah, because I really, I felt like we had good conversation from the last time and I really wanted to follow up with another episode, I just didn't know what. And so in through that conversation, in that meeting, we kind of inadvertently landed on friendships.

Daphne Simpson: [00:03:11] Yeah, adult friendships. How do you make them how do you how do you connect with people?

Monica Patton: [00:03:15] Yes, because we've had our own struggles with it.

Daphne Simpson: [00:03:19] Absolutely.

Monica Patton: [00:03:20] And I think a lot of people do, whether we admit it or not. So let's get going on that. So let me just start the conversation and we're just going to kind of just throw out a question topic. You know, just go with it. Okay. Let's start by why do you think why do we think that it is difficult, specifically as adults, to get maintain friendships?

Daphne Simpson: [00:03:49] I think that's multifaceted. But I will say one of the big things that I think has contributed to it now is community. So our communities have changed. So we're not necessarily in a small town depending on Aunt Susan or my friend Sherry, to help out with the kids, or we don't necessarily go and have our lives centered around a certain spiritual topic or not topic, but aspect. And so I just think community in general has changed. So that has led to some estrangement in relationships and made it more difficult. And I also think people's willingness to be intentional about friendships is a struggle because of time. And so I think if it's not just coming easily through these connections, through the community, then we're going to have to be intentional to build them. And I think that's a struggle.

Monica Patton: [00:04:41] I do think it's a struggle. And I also think that you can be a part of a community and still be lonely and still not have friendships.

Daphne Simpson: [00:04:48] Yes, 100%.

Monica Patton: [00:04:49] So I think that's another aspect of it is it's like you can truly and which I think is maybe the saddest lonely feeling is when you are whether in a relationship, a partner, a friendship in some kind of organization, community, like you said, whatever, and you expect for it just to come.

Daphne Simpson: [00:05:11] Yeah, yeah. Just organically come. Some of that I think is from childhood, quite honestly, because when we're in school, we just are with peers, you know, five days a week and we just organically created friendships, right? And then we graduate and we have to have adult friendships and it's not organic anymore. It takes intention because we're not around these people 40 hours a week.

Monica Patton: [00:05:33] Yeah, exactly. And I think it's it's really as we get as we become like older and adults, I think there's a part I know for me and I've in conversations with other people, there's almost some shame around it where it's like, oh, like or maybe embarrassment like I'm going to come seek you out because I don't have enough friends. Or like, maybe you're scared about how they may take how.

Daphne Simpson: [00:06:04] That's going to be perceived.

Monica Patton: [00:06:06] Perceived, Yes. Perception. Do you think that's an issue?

Daphne Simpson: [00:06:09] I think that's an issue. And I think there's a comparison aspect of it as believing everybody else has friends and everybody else has connection. And I'm lonely. Therefore, I feel really awkward saying, Hey, guess what? I need y'all to invite me to things or would you like to go to coffee? Or just putting yourself out there is very uncomfortable.

Monica Patton: [00:06:28] Yes, I have learned to be an initiator. I have not always been. And I think I had so many years of staying at home that I was forced to if I was going to have connection, I had to make that connection. So I have become better at that. I have some friends that depend on me, I think, to be the initiator.

Daphne Simpson: [00:06:50] How's that now? Yeah. Like does it get to where you feel like, Well, nobody's asking me.

Monica Patton: [00:06:56] At times, but I also feel like my friends have maybe become better at that. And I'm not going to name names because actually what's funny is I've had several people say, you, you, you're so good at like putting things together.

Daphne Simpson: [00:07:13] And so that's my gift.

Monica Patton: [00:07:14] It's my gift. And I realize that now. And maybe that was just I'm not sure if I've always had that gift or maybe I just kind of honed it a bit.

Daphne Simpson: [00:07:22] Developed it out of necessity.

Monica Patton: [00:07:23] Yes. And so I will say, I'm not angry about it. I'm not mad at any one person friends. I'm not talking about anybody. But I've just learned that I. I think I prioritize that. Because I know I need it. Yeah. And it's just it's. And that's the thing about to me, about a friendship specifically, there's just nothing like it. Good quality, authentic connection. Do you agree?

Daphne Simpson: [00:07:56] Yeah. I think we all hunger for that, that we need connection and we need to feel understood and seen. You know, we talk about safe, secure and seen. So when you don't feel like you're you're being seen or in a safe or secure environment to be seen, I think that contributes to loneliness.

Monica Patton: [00:08:13] Yes. But to be seen, first of all, we have to be vulnerable. We have to initiate. We have to try. And that's really hard for some people to to start off with.

Daphne Simpson: [00:08:27] So I'm going to tell a crazy story. So when I was in college, I broke up with my high school boyfriend and we ended up I broke up with all my friends, right? So I'm a sophomore at Auburn. I don't know anybody. And I'm like, what am I going to do? You know, Because everybody kind of made the friends at the beginning of freshman year. And I come in and I was involved. My mother had really wanted me to get involved with this church organization. And I literally went over there one Saturday. I'll never forget it. They're all watching TV. And I was like, I need you all to be my friends.

Monica Patton: [00:09:00] I love that.

Daphne Simpson: [00:09:01] They're all just like sitting there. I mean, what are they going to say? No, right? I mean, they're like.

Monica Patton: [00:09:06] Okay.

Daphne Simpson: [00:09:06] Watch the original Little Mermaid with us, you know? So so that was literally where I made some of my best friends in college was I just absolutely put myself out there and it was so uncomfortable and so scary. And they thought it was weird, too. But it ended up becoming some of my best friends, my lifelong friends.

Monica Patton: [00:09:23] So working through the awkwardness, which we all have to learn to do for a lot of things, yeah, maybe.

Daphne Simpson: [00:09:30] That awkward, but.

Monica Patton: [00:09:31] That is pretty awkward and brave though. Really, for that age.

Daphne Simpson: [00:09:36] Maybe desperate. Monica Maybe. But you know what?

Monica Patton: [00:09:40] You are. And that's okay. Like I think I think we all are desperate at times. And you don't want to say, hey, I'm desperate, but. I want friends. Or I think we could be good friends. I think this to friendship is no different than a partnership, an intimate partnership. We have to date people.

Daphne Simpson: [00:09:58] Yes, I agree with that. You have to try people on and see if they're a good fit.

Monica Patton: [00:10:02] And it doesn't always like friendships don't always work.

Daphne Simpson: [00:10:06] Yeah, right. Yeah.

Monica Patton: [00:10:08] How do we how do.

Daphne Simpson: [00:10:10] Have you ever had to break up with a friend? Is that too deep for this?

Monica Patton: [00:10:14] No, it's not too deep, I think. I've never and I'm not saying this is good. I don't think I've ever had that conversation. Which I will say I have regrets of maybe not handling it better in the past. Like it just it was a seasonal. Yeah. Friendship or, you know, we just kind of follow different paths and different life phases. And maybe some other reasons. And just like, you know, maybe I'm changing. They're changing apart grew apart and it's fine. It's but there are seasonal friends. There are.

Daphne Simpson: [00:10:51] And I think accepting that as well is when there is kind of a grow apart or we're not connecting as much letting that go instead of trying to hang onto it with your fingertips. Yes. And I think that's hard. I think that's really hard.

Monica Patton: [00:11:06] I think it is. Because you can love someone always and forever. And it's just you're you're not going to be my every day. You're not going to be my go to. You're not in my little maybe tight network. We're still we're kind of becoming, like, close friends to acquaintances.

Daphne Simpson: [00:11:22] Yeah. Facebook friends.

Monica Patton: [00:11:24] Facebook friends.

Daphne Simpson: [00:11:25] Which I mean, I love that. I love watching people that I did life with ten, 15 years ago and seeing what their kids look like or what they're into or how they're doing. And we might connect every so often. So I think that's one of the gifts of social media, is that I still get to see what's happening with you. Even though our lives don't connect the way they used to.

Monica Patton: [00:11:42] I agree.

Daphne Simpson: [00:11:43] So I do think that's a plus of social media.

Monica Patton: [00:11:46] I do too. And I think, yeah, it's just sort of dropping the guilt of, you know, I've always been amazed by some people that have this little group of friends that they started when they were ten years old or something, and.

Daphne Simpson: [00:12:00] They're still friends.

Monica Patton: [00:12:01] And they're still besties, and there's not really another person in that situation. And I used to think, because I don't really have that from that far back. Yeah, um, people I'm friendly towards and, you know, kind of going back to the whole Facebook thing, but. I don't think that's true. I don't know. I don't think that's a true experience for a lot of people. And I'm going to be honest. I feel like if you've never added some friendships over the years, I'm wondering, have you changed at all? Have they changed? Is that normal? Is it not normal? I don't know.

Daphne Simpson: [00:12:39] I would agree that that's the exception, not the rule. As far as having that close knit group of friends your whole entire life, and especially if you're not adding anybody to it. But I know that, you know, when that's where you like I said, that it's forced on you to have friendships. And so these five people that I really connected to and that old friend, as far as we did life together, especially if we went to the same school or we got married at the same time and we had babies at the same time and we did the same type of careers. I mean, then, yeah, I could see it lasting for a long, long time. But it's when life starts to not be in sync. I think that it's harder to maintain those those relationships.

Monica Patton: [00:13:18] I think so too. And friendships to me is a little bit like caring for yourself. It becomes something that sounds like a luxury. I don't have time for that. Going back to what you said, the busyness, the busy factor, which people love to glorify how busy they are and they just don't have time for all that stuff. Yeah.

Daphne Simpson: [00:13:40] I mean that being intentional with friendship and I mean having to pour into it just like you would any relationship if it was your spouse. You're like, we have to have date night. Well, I mean, and that's the thing that I see and that I hear about friendships is that, oh, well, we get together once a month for book club or we get together once a month to have coffee or, you know, and once a month. That's great that you still have that connection. But that's not it's not enough. I don't think it's enough.

Monica Patton: [00:14:08] I think that's okay. That is a good connection to have. It doesn't mean that we're dismissing that connection, but there needs to be closer connections in your life than that. Is that what you're.

Daphne Simpson: [00:14:20] Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. Okay. Yeah. Because I mean, I think, you know, we, we've talked a little bit before this just about how most people have like really one, two, three really close friends. But then you start ending up with friendships and acquaintances and this type of thing, and there's more vulnerability when you have those really close friendships. So how vulnerable I'm willing to be with you is probably how close we're going to be. Actually. You know what? When I first graduated again from college, these are some formative years as far as friendships for me. I moved to a town, didn't know anyone, and I ended up with all these really needy people in my life. And I actually went to a therapist and I'm like, I've got all these needy people in my life. And she said, You're not turning the therapist off. And she said, You're just listening. You're doing active listening. You're not sharing your stuff. And you've ended up with all these people who love that and are attracted to that. That's not what friendship is. Friendship is equal sharing. And that really, honestly, I think I saw her once or twice and that was what I needed. That was some good advice. I mean, that was what I needed. So then we moved on and that's I'm glad I got some of those boundaries early on because I think it helped. Yeah.

Monica Patton: [00:15:30] Well, I Kind of feel like I was I had those kind of friendships when I was younger, even younger, like, like much younger.

Daphne Simpson: [00:15:40] Oh, yeah. Where someone was like, very troubled and.

Monica Patton: [00:15:42] Yes, yes. Yeah. So that's some issues I've had to work on. Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to blame, you know, like, say I'm victim of all these, you know, these needy people. But, um, yeah, that's something I've learned in time is, first of all, I have so much emotional energy to care for myself well, care for my family well, and with a few, like you said, close friendships, which I think the one, two, three. I almost think that you. I don't know. I mean. How many you can. I guess maybe people are different, but I've got several friends that I would say that I stay very in, very good contact. But to keep that once again, that's emotional energy. I mean, when they're going through hard times and when they're getting real with you and you're getting I mean, it's it's something that you got to be willing to invest in. I mean, equally invest in. Yeah, Yeah. You see the benefit, don't you think?

Daphne Simpson: [00:16:39] Yeah. I'm thinking about like my oldest friend who's been with me. We grew up together, you know, and we don't connect as often as I would want to. But when we do connect, it's just like we just go right back. Picked up. And I mean, when we talked about, um, we read that book, The Life Counsel, and it talked about the old friend, the one that seen you go through several developmental stages. And there was another type of friend that's like the come and grab your Kindle and burn your journals. And like after I read that, I like met with her and I'm like, okay, you're these two, you know, Was that the password protector? Yes. I was like, You're these two categories. And I'm like, If I happen to die, this is what you do. You come and you get my Kindle and you immediately burn every journal I have. And that's what I'll let my husband know too. So I'll let you have all these things.

Monica Patton: [00:17:26] I love that. Well, and speaking of that, that book, The Life Counsel by Laura Tremain highly recommended. I felt like it was really. I don't know it opened my eyes to sometimes you can forget about the or maybe not realize the role that some people have played in your life and are playing. And so I think for me. she's not saying you've got to have all these certain friends right now, but just over your period of life, what she has learned, how they have, how it has served her and helped her and helped her friends. And I just think it's important to acknowledge what certain people do for you and don't make the one friend try to do all those other things.

Daphne Simpson: [00:18:11] Yes. Right. Yes. And I think I've been guilty of that, expecting this friend to meet all the needs. And they can't, you know, and I mean, like I can't meet other people all the needs. But yeah, I agree with that. And I like how she broke it down. But you could have one person that meets several of the needs.

Monica Patton: [00:18:30] Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's interesting to look at. Do you have a you've got a list. I've got the list run over that list.

Daphne Simpson: [00:18:36] Just let's see. It was the daily duty friend. That's someone who's going to come over and just bring you your shampoo that you love and just come in your house and.

Monica Patton: [00:18:46] Fix the water.

Daphne Simpson: [00:18:47] And doesn't ask to do errands with you. The old friend who's seen you go through developmental changes, the business bestie, That's from a work, you know, I think of it as trauma bonding. I'm just kidding. The fellow obsessive. That would be like your hobby friend and the battle buddy. That's someone who's been with you when you've gone through something really difficult. The yes friend. That's the person that's going to do anything. Anytime. Yes, we'll go. The mentor, that's someone you're going to look up to, the password protector. That's the one that's going to come and destroy all the evidence, the empty chair. And I like that, that you're just going to leave a space for somebody to come into the new friend and the soul sister. And I guess, you know, like I said, I put several of those together like old friend and soul sister. I see those kind of as as same. So I felt like multiple I can't see me having ten people that meet those needs. And I don't think that's what she was trying to say. No. But yeah, so that was that was her list.

[00:19:46] Well. That book just made me think. She was very real in that book, just about just sort of her struggles with friends and how, you know, there's going to be ups and downs with it just like any other relationship. But it left me with thinking, why? And specifically with women I like. I'd like to talk to you. Ah, about. Why do we not, other than the busyness. You know what? What stops us you think?

Daphne Simpson: [00:20:26] I think vulnerability.

Monica Patton: [00:20:27] I think so too. Okay. I think so too. Yeah. Um, haven't you been around people that you know, whether it's like a small group, a, you know, a really maybe. I mean, maybe you would say like hopefully be a safe group where I'm pretty open generally, and so I'm going to be telling my things. Of course I have boundaries, but and I've worked on that and. And then you got the someone that sits there and says hardly anything. Yeah. And I'll just say how I'm not going to assume anything from this person. I'm not in their mind, but. It makes me feel unsafe because I feel like, okay, I'm expressing all of this information about myself and why are you clammed up? Yeah.

Daphne Simpson: [00:21:23] And I mean, I think some people are just made that way. They just play things closer. But I think that when you when you put something out there and you you have that feeling of, oh, that was not well received or nobody else has experienced that apparently.

Monica Patton: [00:21:38] Or, oh, I should have said that. Like it's one of those, like immediate, like, why did I go there?

Daphne Simpson: [00:21:43] Did that just come out of my mouth?

Monica Patton: [00:21:44] Why did I go there? Because that happens to me a lot is like, okay, what? Man, I shouldn't have said that. Maybe that was too much. But. I think maybe just giving people a break. Like you said, some people, that's their personality. But I'm going to I'm going to struggle getting close to you if you are never open with me.

Daphne Simpson: [00:22:04] About your real.

Monica Patton: [00:22:05] Life, you.

Daphne Simpson: [00:22:06] Know, because I mean that to me. I agree that you do not feel secure. If I if I and I mean, that's how we build friendships. I looked for this everywhere on the Internet and I read it forever ago, but it was like it was like stages of friendship. And it was like the first one was, Hi, how are you? I'm Daphne. And the second one was Hi, will you do something for me? And then the third one was, you know, asking for a favor and then sharing a deep, dark secret. I mean, it was like, you know, moving from acquaintance to friendship. And so I think when you are a more genuine, authentic person, which I think both of us kind of land there, it's easier to go deeper, quicker.

Monica Patton: [00:22:45] Oh, I can go deep real quick.

Daphne Simpson: [00:22:48] And so some people I think are very uncomfortable with that. And it would take them a lot to get there. But you're right, if I share something from my heart and I read the room as someone just looked at somebody else like, I'm going to shut down quick because I'm like that. They're not there or I don't fit this or and that is a very uncomfortable feeling.

Monica Patton: [00:23:11] It is. And so maybe it's not the right group for you.

Daphne Simpson: [00:23:13] Yeah. Yeah.

Monica Patton: [00:23:15] And and that's okay, too.

Daphne Simpson: [00:23:16] Or maybe you jumped ahead three steps and.

Monica Patton: [00:23:19] And maybe.

Daphne Simpson: [00:23:20] Maybe we were only at the we we get my male stage and I told you all about.

Monica Patton: [00:23:26] And maybe I've done that and maybe not but yeah, just yeah. In that I think that's good advice actually with a partner or a friend is, is to, like you said, learn to read the room, not to go maybe too deep, too quick possibly or learn kind of take some time discerning who that person or that group, you know, you kind of get the vibe that they would want to go deeper. I think those.

Daphne Simpson: [00:23:54] Groups can be developed over time. You know, I think it doesn't have to start out as you know. So I think I think that can be developed. Um, and you know, when you look at like group therapy, you don't want more than ten people in the group because that shuts down people talking. Yes. And so having a smaller close knit group and I think that's where we get to one, two, three or 5 to 10. And you know, that that's just easier.

Monica Patton: [00:24:19] So that. Okay, so the one, two, three, let's talk about that for a little bit. Um, there's different connections, level of connections I think we all need. And I mean, there's tons of research behind it. Lots of people, experts have talked about it just how, like you said, we need the broader community that we're connected with and that would look like, um, maybe a church or a civic organization or name some other things that, that might the broad like a.

Daphne Simpson: [00:24:48] Bigger like hobby groups.

Monica Patton: [00:24:50] Hobby groups. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So a bigger group. Okay. And then I feel like you've got a tear underneath that. That would be acquaintances. And I feel like I have read like we can maybe have no more than 50 acquaintances. Does that make sense? Does that sound like. That sounds like a lot.

Daphne Simpson: [00:25:09] I don't think that's a lot. I mean, like, personally, I would say I have a ton of acquaintances. Like, I have a bunch of people that I'll see them in a room and they'd come over and hug me and, Hey, Daphne, how are you? But yeah, we're not.

Monica Patton: [00:25:20] I guess I'm thinking acquaintances more like not so much people that I know or know me. And maybe I'm thinking of it wrong, but someone that I still might randomly text. Okay. Or like, we might randomly. What would you think figures like wise like I feel like there is a tier of people that I would say I am friends with. Yeah, okay. But they don't know all my stuff. Yeah. Like generally, like all the time.

Daphne Simpson: [00:25:45] I don't know how many. I mean I would say 25, 15, 15, 25 maybe. I don't know. I'm just guessing. That's kind of what I'm thinking.

Monica Patton: [00:25:53] And then you've got like the smaller, more everyday daily duty friend, kind of some of those friends you're talking about the password protector, the ones that know your house? Yeah.

Daphne Simpson: [00:26:05] Know you. Yeah no one's ever going to know my house.

Monica Patton: [00:26:09] Well, they got to know where where your stuffs at like the journals.

Daphne Simpson: [00:26:13] But that was what I was reading that book. I was like daily duty for. And I was like, yeah, I don't, I don't have that. I mean, that's something I think I would like. I would like someone to be like, Hey, let's go run errands together. Um, I think that would be cool. But yeah, that would take some authenticity and genuineness on my part for you to see how messy my house is.

Monica Patton: [00:26:29] Okay. Yeah. So do you think a lot of people are like you that don't have the daily duty friend?

Daphne Simpson: [00:26:37] I think people that have that are very lucky and I would think that that would be the more rare friend, just the person that comes over and lets themself into the house and comes and sits on the couch and takes her shoes off and. Just, you know, going to turn on turn on your TV to what they want to watch. You know? I mean, I think that is awesome, but I think that would probably be rare know I don't know.

Monica Patton: [00:27:03] I think we talked about the hours like we both read about how many hours it takes to get that really close friend I think about I do have friends like that, but how many years and time with these people it has taken me to get there. Yeah. Yeah. So I would say don't give up.

Daphne Simpson: [00:27:22] No, I mean, I think, you know, there's with me, there's been barriers with friendship as far as working out of town, coming, you know, moving here and not knowing anybody. And then as a therapist, that mean that that causes problems being a therapist in a small town. But then the the hours I'm guilty of that know as far as and when I was thinking about the hours I did this training in Arkansas, where I was with this group of women where we we literally lived together for a week. Okay. And you want to talk about bonding quickly, you know, strangers and all of a sudden you're in my house and we're sharing rooms and then we're doing sand trays, of course, on these deep, heavy subjects. And you're having to go pretty thick pretty quickly, authentically. And those have ended up being really good friends. But it took time and it took openness and it took vulnerability. And then we ended up kind of making some pretty strong connections there.

Monica Patton: [00:28:21] So that could happen professionally. That could happen just going on vacation with another family, a friend, however, a group of girlfriends, I think that can speed up the process.

Daphne Simpson: [00:28:32] Yes. And we've had to be intentional about keeping that friendship because everybody lives far off. Right. So we have had to do Zoom meeting and we chat on Messenger and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, I think like if you had a group and you're like, Hey, we're going to go to the beach and spend a week together, you have to be kind of authentic in that situation.

[00:28:50] You know, it's kind of it's sort of hard to hide the the good, bad and ugly when you're with when you're with people for a week. And that's fine. That's good.

Daphne Simpson: [00:28:59] But that I think that would I got to see all that would create intimacy.

Monica Patton: [00:29:02] It does it does so I think kind of what we're saying is learning to and I don't feel like you should bring the barrier or the wall down for just anyone that's not safe. You know that. So taking time to, you know. I feel like give people a chance and maybe some people that maybe are very different from you or maybe they're very similar to you. That's something I've learned too, over the years, is I can be very drawn to, like you said, you know, like, okay, so we can go deep quick. And I'm like, you know, I want all my friends to, you know, I want to be able to, like, talk like all the things with them. Okay? But I also have friends that I don't do that with that I get some other there's some other advantages and benefits to those friends that are not what I would call chit chatty girl.

Daphne Simpson: [00:29:55] Yeah, Yeah. I mean, I was I was thinking about like, the mentor, you know, I mean, like, I've definitely had those women in my life that have been there for me that have like that probably don't know all the pieces of me, but I have leaned on heavily as far as learning how to be a woman or just just general. I don't know even how to be a counselor or professional, you know that just people I can lean on. Yeah.

Monica Patton: [00:30:19] And I think that's that's huge. I think we all we all need that. I think also, too, I feel like I'm in this stage where. I'm definitely in middle aged. Okay. And I feel more drawn to I'm never going to stop wanting to learn from people that are older and wiser and more experienced than me. Like that's just my personality, okay? But I think I'm in the stage where.

Daphne Simpson: [00:30:46] You're becoming the wise one.

Monica Patton: [00:30:48] I feel like I'm Not about everything. Okay.

Daphne Simpson: [00:30:52] No, I love that. So, you know, and I told these girls that I was probably going to bring them up, but I've got this small group that I met with and we added a woman that's 25 years old, and I love it so much. I mean, I feel like she's brought so much to the group and she's just in a different stage of life and there's a lot of different stages of life in that group. But I'm just so excited that we brought somebody in and I think it's been beneficial to her, but it's been beneficial to me. Just

Monica Patton: [00:30:52] Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

Daphne Simpson: [00:31:19] That was a good move on on everybody's part.

Monica Patton: [00:31:22] Not making so many of our I feel like clubs, subgroups, whatever life stage you tend to end up with the same people like kind of where you're at and that's great. I think we need that 100%. But I feel like we always see somebody step ahead and we need somebody behind us. Yeah, because we all have things to learn. Yeah. And that 25 year old. Oh, my gosh. Like you think about how smart a 25. I mean, there's so much that she everybody has wisdom to give. Sure. I feel like.

Daphne Simpson: [00:31:57] Sure. And I mean, like I think like I said, I think that's been a really good move. But the other thing is, as adults, I think we do end up with friends from different generations. I mean, I just I've had friends that were in their 60s and I've had friends that were 30, you know, not too many that are exactly my age and exactly my life stage. Now, I do think that's a challenge, too, though, because I will say with me, my stepson graduated. I was like 40. So we like did not have kids in the house at 40, which is awesome because you get to travel and you don't have those. But it's also a challenge in that I'm not going to the ball field.

Monica Patton: [00:32:36] Which is where a lot of people where I'm at right now, we see like that kind of goes back to sort of that school idea. Okay. So we're not going to we're not personally going to school, but I'm going to all these events that some other people and I have made some really good friends that way. Yeah, you could lose them. And I'm totally aware of that. And I've seen that when those kids graduate. Unless you develop some intentionality of connection outside of your children.

Daphne Simpson: [00:33:02] Yes. Yes. And you know, the other piece, I mean, this is I feel like maybe I'm talking too much about myself, but I know that there was a time with a small group that I said, invite me to your kid's stuff.

Monica Patton: [00:33:14] Okay, good. I'm glad you said that. Why did you say that?

Daphne Simpson: [00:33:17] Because I was not going. I wasn't getting the social opportunity because I wasn't at the ball field or I wasn't going to the birthday party or I wasn't being invited to the Cub Scout meeting or the campout or whatever. And so I said, Y'all ask me, I will go. I will go watch the kids. I will enjoy it because like, I'm really getting into more grandparent age. And that hasn't happened. So let me be a part of this US bond but also let me watch your kids. I mean, like that's enjoyable.

Monica Patton: [00:33:45] You know, because I feel like I'm glad you said that, because the assumption because that's the stage I'm still at. I mean, we're in kind of you're in an empty nest. And like you said, you are a younger, empty nest. Okay. I still have kids in the home. Okay. So my assumption would be that you would not want to come to my kids games because sometimes I don't want to go. Yeah. And why would I think somebody else that has doesn't.

Daphne Simpson: [00:34:15] That's exactly what I was hit with. It was like I would never think in a million years you would want because I don't want to go. I mean, yeah, Yeah. So I think that, that it was just shock that I would even say that. And then I started getting schedules. And I'm not saying I go to all of them, but I do go to some of them. Yeah. So that was, you know, and I think that's something that me and these girls are still working on. But yeah, because I'm going to pick the ball game that it's not 30 degrees.

Monica Patton: [00:34:44] Yeah. Look you have the option of which one or if you're just in the mood for that that day,

Daphne Simpson: [00:34:48] How bad do I need this function.

Monica Patton: [00:34:51] Well, and also it's probably so much more enjoyable. You don't have a dog in the fight, right? So you're just there to, like, kind of, you know.

Daphne Simpson: [00:34:58] I have to be careful who I cheer for because I'm like, that was a good hit. And they're like, Daphne.

Monica Patton: [00:35:04] You want to cheer for everybody? So I feel like that's a way that you could get to the daily duty friend. Yes. Doing those kind of things, like you said, like running errands. We don't like to run errands. Right? But like you say, hey, you know what? It would make it more enjoyable to run to Walmart together, go get something to eat or whatever. It is something that maybe is maybe, you know, go to the game that any of that.

Daphne Simpson: [00:35:28] I feel like so much of our social interactions now are, hey, let's go out to eat. I mean, like, how often is it I mean, like I know culturally we're centered around food, but like that has become the thing is, like, you know, but like, I have friends that walk every morning with another friend. And I mean, that's, that's their thing. And that's where they connect and that's where they talk. But a lot of things like as far as, hey, let's go run errands or, you know, these other activities that are just more mundane. I don't think we even consider asking somebody else to go do it with us.

Monica Patton: [00:35:59] I think that's a missed opportunity. Lots of times I agree. So because it's always like I've got all these errands to do. I don't have time for lunch. And so then once you say that, there's your you know, here's the invitation and I'm having to give a no because I got all these other things to do. So note to self is, Hey, come along with me or I'll come with you. Yeah. And maybe I've done that at some point. Probably not as often as. But that's I think that's a good way to incorporate thinking about our busy lives and our schedules of. Yeah, go do the things together that you both kind of have to do, but you can do it together.

Daphne Simpson: [00:36:39] Yeah, I think that that is a good opportunity as well as far as because we are busy, we do have busy lives. I mean, we are raising children. We have, you know, obligations but but where can we fit people in? And it doesn't have to look like this. I don't know. It's like this idea of friendship that we're comparing to.

Monica Patton: [00:37:01] I think so, too, and something I've learned as far as preference for myself is I am less interested in big gatherings, social gatherings. I'm not sure I was maybe I was more interested when I was younger. I don't know if that's an age thing or just where I'm at, I have no idea. Um, and so I think learning where you feel most comfortable and I want more. I know I want more quality conversation than. Uh, less like surface level. But although sometimes you need that too. Like, I mean, I can't be in deep conversation every day and, you know, find that yes friend. Find that fun friend. Yeah. Um, just sort of like what? Maybe what you need that day or that time. I think we could use all of it.

Daphne Simpson: [00:37:53] Yeah, no, I agree. Those are good ideas.

Monica Patton: [00:37:56] Yeah. So. Something she mentioned in this book going back to the Life Counsel. This is going to people are going to have different thoughts on this, But I think. She mentions how she is married and how I think she has a good marriage. I don't remember specifically what she says about it, but how she had learned the longer she had been married that he could not be just like, once again going back to her everything, and the person to tell all her secrets and sadness and stress to that. She had learned to sort of divvy that up with some friendships that were better at, I guess, you know, discussing those issues with and I fully agree.

Daphne Simpson: [00:38:55] Yeah, I do. I think and I think as women, we're kind of guilty sometimes of expecting her husband to meet all of those needs. And, you know, there's just a person, you know, and quite honestly, they might not be interested in all of the things that we're interested in.

Monica Patton: [00:39:10] Well, no, because are we always interested in everything they're interested in?

Daphne Simpson: [00:39:13] No. Gosh, no.

Monica Patton: [00:39:14] And I think that's okay and normal. And I feel like that was just a really important I feel like maybe something that is not discussed often enough because we know all the people that, you know, marriage is hard. That's another you know, that is a hard relationship to navigate at times. And I feel like part of it. And that's just this is I have felt this myself in my own relationship and have seen it in friends and their husbands, partners, whatever. The expectation is so high that let's drop that and see what they are good at and where they where they can feed into you. But I do believe for me to be my healthiest self is, yes, I've got that. I've got that marriage and I'm thankful for it. And he's good at a lot of things. But that's where I'm plugging in some of these. I've got these other people in my life that maybe I do other things with. Yeah. And that's just I feel more whole that way.

Daphne Simpson: [00:40:18] No, I think, I think that is whole. I think we have a very romantic idea of relationships in general friendships and marriage partnership, marriage. Um, and I think early on getting married, I think I definitely expected him to meet all the things. But I mean, he doesn't care what book I'm reading, you know, he's really glad that I'm reading the book and that I'm enjoying it and that I'm happy. But he really doesn't care about the content of that. And so I need book club people, you know, that I'm going to talk about books with. So I've developed that because that's a niche that I need in my life. So.

Monica Patton: [00:40:59] I just think that maybe people, individuals figure it out a little earlier. But like you said, maybe just the budding of friendships, the budding of marriages or whatever relationship it is, is just learning what works for you. And that may look different for everybody. I mean, just I think what we're trying to say is don't put all your eggs in one basket. Yeah. Does that make sense?

Daphne Simpson: [00:41:24] No, I agree. I agree. And I think don't be afraid to ask for what you need. And if it's if it's met with. I can't give that. Then there's no that's not bad. It's just they don't have that to give. And so maybe I need to look somewhere different.

Monica Patton: [00:41:39] I've heard. I think you're a Brene Brown fan like me, but I've heard her say with her husband that they have this thing where. They give a percentage of what they got. That is amazing. It's like I've got I ain't got nothing, okay? Or I've got I've got 25 percent.

Daphne Simpson: [00:41:58] And he's like, I've got 75. And they're like, okay, we're good. And if it's like a 20 and a 25, they sit down and they say, okay, what do we need to do to make this work today?

Monica Patton: [00:42:06] Is that not so healthy?

Daphne Simpson: [00:42:07] I thought that was amazing.

Monica Patton: [00:42:08] I still have not incorporated that. But I'm going to I think.

Daphne Simpson: [00:42:12] I might throw it out there, but I don't know how that's going to be received.

Monica Patton: [00:42:16] He's like, Daphne, you're always a 25. But there again, just I think that stating what you need and also saying like, hey, maybe I'm struggling today or I am stressed to the max and this is not instead of I'm going to yell at you or I'm going to shut down and just once again, just be vulnerable, be open with this is where I'm at.

Daphne Simpson: [00:42:39] Yeah, this is what I got today.

Monica Patton: [00:42:40] This is what I've got. And I really think once again, that can happen with friendships as well, that sometimes you know, we're expecting this friend maybe to, you know, be our go to. And she is having a really hard time right now and is a really hard season. And maybe you have that conversation of like, are you okay or what's going on? I said, you know, I just think that we can work on a lot of assumptions.

Daphne Simpson: [00:43:08] Yeah. I mean, I wonder. I wonder if it'd be too much. And I mean, I hate using too much because, like, so many people feel like they're too much and I don't like that. Yeah, but I mean, if it was to just be a check in and be like, Hey, am I being too needy right now? I mean, do I need to back off and maybe look for some other friendships as well? That's a pretty raw conversation. So I don't know.

Monica Patton: [00:43:31] Yeah, because.

Daphne Simpson: [00:43:34] They might take that like.

Monica Patton: [00:43:35] Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how.

Daphne Simpson: [00:43:38] I don't know either, but I just. I know that there's. There's times when I have definitely felt like, okay, I'm needing a lot and I don't know that they have that to give and I need to give some grace there. Yes. And just accept that that's what they have to offer right now.

Monica Patton: [00:43:55] And also, if I'm going through a really hard time. Yes. That I am open with those close friends or those people in my life that I feel like do depend on me and I want them to, you know, but like, hey, this is what's and that goes back to that's why we got to be authentic. That's why we got to be vulnerable. So I think there's more grace when we know.

Daphne Simpson: [00:44:16] What's going on.

[00:44:17] When we know what's going on. I'd like to just touch for a minute on the the loneliness epidemic. I was really struck by an article by the surgeon general. That's one of his top issues that that he's really concerned about priorities, if you will. I think social isolation is not looked at as seriously and I'm glad to hear that we've got a doctor that is seeing all the things that are physically.

Daphne Simpson: [00:44:53] The connection to physical health was like really interesting to me.

Monica Patton: [00:44:56] Yeah, it's huge. And I would recommend I don't think you can just go to his website, right?

Daphne Simpson: [00:45:01] Write it down. 29. No, I wrote it down somewhere. I don't know where it is, but look at the epidemic of loneliness and isolation. 2023 are epidemic of loneliness and isolation. Was the name of the article?

Monica Patton: [00:45:12] Yes. Check that out. I highly recommend everyone. It's just it's very informative. But that mind body connection, I mean, he is speaking to it like. So not only we know we're mentally affected by isolation and lack of close relational or relationships. Okay, But the physical side is astounding. And I think he references referenced it there. And I know I've seen the other places, but just like I think he did, that if you're socially isolated or like close friendships, relationships, that that is worse than harder on your body than, you know, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, high blood pressure, obesity. I mean, like it's really astounding. So it's like it just leaves me with thinking that friendships is not an elective.

Daphne Simpson: [00:46:13] No, I agree with that. I think it it has to happen. I think it has to develop it. And I think it can look a lot of different ways. And I think that is one of the things that I guess I wanted to bring up was online friendships. I think that that's kind of unusual, but I have definitely had friends and friend groups that I have met online through common interests that have become very important people in my life.

Monica Patton: [00:46:38] Okay. I would love to hear how you've done that because I have never had that. And how did that how did you get there?

Daphne Simpson: [00:46:46] So one of them was I guess it's all around reading because that's an introverted hobby. All of my hobbies are very introverted hobbies like you don't get together and I'll read a book that would have to be very intentional. We're going to have a reading retreat. That does happen by the way. What do you like You just all bring your books. We're going to go and hang out at this cabin and we're going to read and eat and drink wine and talk and read our books. Really? Yeah.

Monica Patton: [00:47:13] People say that.

Daphne Simpson: [00:47:13] Yes, I want to do that. Yes. I think it sounds like so much fun.

Monica Patton: [00:47:16] Okay. Would you have some do you read the same.

Daphne Simpson: [00:47:18] Book or you can read different books? Yeah. It's just like we all enjoy this hobby and we're just going to get together and hang out and read.

Monica Patton: [00:47:25] Ooh, I like that idea.

Daphne Simpson: [00:47:26] Well, I mean, for someone who's. Yeah, I mean, like, with me, like I said, most of my hobbies are very introverted, which that's hard. So, you know, like, my husband has hobbies that are more, more around people, which is funny because he's more of an introvert than I am, but his hobbies involve people, and so there's been social opportunities there. But the first group that I met, the first two women I met, I went to a reading, a signing of an author I really wanted to see. And this girl posted on Facebook, Hey, I'm here from this group and I was in the same group and she's like, if anybody is here, come over and meet me. This is my picture. And she took a selfie and posted it on there. And so I went and I met her and she goes, Look, I'm an introvert and I'm pretending to be an extrovert today. And I mean, she really put herself out there. And so we became like friends. But she lives in North Carolina. So like we were we talk online all the time. We've met one time and then we added someone else to that group through this same reading group. And we talk we talked for quite some time, every day throughout the day about all kinds of things. It became a very good friendship. And then the most recent one was a guy on TikTok, started a book club, and it's on a Discord server, which just think old school chat room. Okay? And a lot of our kids use them for gaming, but it's like a chat room, basically. And we have a book we read every month and talk about and all that. So that's been really interesting, kind of some challenging books to read, but that has contributed to people breaking into smaller groups of people that they get along with or they talk to, you know, daily about their stuff. And so I think that can be a way to develop friendships and meet that need that is a little bit more unusual than just, hey, you know, I see you every day.

Monica Patton: [00:49:20] I love that. And once again, that's what's really good about. Yeah, online and social media. But I think instead of just like scrolling, okay, actually reach out to someone and I do feel like that. Yeah, that sounds like that could be fulfilling.

Daphne Simpson: [00:49:34] And I recommend that a lot to people that feel like they don't fit in with any group.

Monica Patton: [00:49:39] Where they're at. Yeah.

Daphne Simpson: [00:49:41] So like, and I hear that and like, I've teased that I want to have like a get together at the pavilion here in town and like have all these different groups and introverts unite, you know, because it's like if you have more introverted hobbies, it's very hard to meet other people. So but you're not the only one.

Monica Patton: [00:50:01] Okay. You're not the only one. If you're lonely, you're not the only one that has, like you said, the introverted hobby. Maybe not enough people time because even introverts still need connection. And I think that's a misperception.

Daphne Simpson: [00:50:15] It is a miss what they need. They want connection, maybe less connection. And they have to recover by being alone or doing quieter hobbies. So yeah, there's still that need for connection. And I mean, like when that report is said, only 39% of Americans actually feel a connection with other people that's heartbreaking.

Monica Patton: [00:50:37] That is heartbreaking. So, okay, so with keeping all these statistics in mind and what we know, it can, you know, lack of connection, lack, lack of friendships. And I really want to keep saying friendships because you can have a great intimate relationship with a partner, maybe with a sibling, with a parent. And those are great. The more the better. But I do feel like friendships are unique and still needed.

Daphne Simpson: [00:51:07] Definitely needed. I think we need that connection to two other women who understand some of what we're going through have been there or going there, you know, whatever. But I just I feel like because we started first talking about women friendships and I just think that we need that desperately because we face life differently than guys do.

Monica Patton: [00:51:31] We do.

Daphne Simpson: [00:51:32] And I hate to be I might be too polarizing here, but I think that women are more relationship oriented sometimes than men are not all, but I do believe that a little bit.

Monica Patton: [00:51:46] I agree. And I think if you if we all kind of just take a look at maybe we might be less disheartened and fill out, maybe struggle maybe as much with possibly. I mean, these are yes, these are very broad, but not leaning on the partner to once again fulfill all those things. Go find what you need. Is that not what we're kind of just saying? Yeah.

Daphne Simpson: [00:52:15] Yeah. And do be open about it and look for it in different ways. Yeah. And create it.

Monica Patton: [00:52:23] Get creative. Yeah, that's what I mean.

Daphne Simpson: [00:52:24] Like if you don't have it come up with a way to create it, right?

Monica Patton: [00:52:28] If you're sitting at home, let me say this. I've heard this, I've heard this from teens I work with. I've heard it from just of all ages. It's just easier just to go home. And get my comfortable pants and scroll your phone. Now I'll say this. There's nothing wrong with any of that. But if that is your only connection to people, that does not. That's not enough.

Daphne Simpson: [00:52:53] No, it's not.

Monica Patton: [00:52:55] It's not enough. And I have I've really heard teens say that a lot, which is to me is very concerning because, like, we know those are the ones should be like roaming or, you know, connect. Usually you have more connection when you're younger. So it's really important for us as adults to have it ourselves and model that for our younger generations. Don't you agree?

Daphne Simpson: [00:53:19] Yeah, I agree. I agree. And letting them know how important it is as well. But I also would bring up Monica that that I agree with what you're saying that they need connection but I think it might look different for this generation.

Monica Patton: [00:53:33] I do agree with that. I agree with that. And to say like it's really easy for older people, I guess we're all like, Oh, they need to get off those phones and they need to get off the games or whatever. Um, when we know that's more, like you said, introverted hobbies. Okay. I have an introverted child, and I do realize they need more of that. Okay. But that does not need to be the only.

Daphne Simpson: [00:53:59] It doesn't need to be the only. But if they're playing the game with a group of people that they play the game with every night and they start talking about all the other things because that's how friendships develop, right? Yes. And I'm not looking down on that so much. Do I still think they need to get out? Do I still think they need to be interacting? Sure. Absolutely, 100%. I just think that this is a different time, a different generation. And we it's like we have this weird belief that everybody underneath us is going to do it the exact same way we did. And and and it's not and it's not.

Monica Patton: [00:54:31] No. And to devalue it. So like, okay, going back to your reading retreat. So maybe it's a gaming retreat, maybe it's a gaming day, maybe it's, you know, just opening. I think as parents, I think it's such a concern for parents and and it can be concerning. And there do need to be boundaries around that, right?

Daphne Simpson: [00:54:47] I agree. So like Northeast Alabama Community College developed a gaming room and I was like that is brilliant. And I desperately want someone in downtown Fort Payne to open up a gaming room where kids could come together, play video games, but be in the same room with one another, have board games in the back, whatever, but still have that in-person interaction while they're doing it more.

Monica Patton: [00:55:10] Okay, well, look, let's that just takes us back to old old school arcade. Why did why did that exist?

Daphne Simpson: [00:55:18] That's really what you're right. That is that's what I'm looking for completely anymore. No, you don't. And I mean, like, we did hang out at the arcade, or I did.

Monica Patton: [00:55:27] So look, look, someone please have an arcade, please. In this. I mean, really.

Daphne Simpson: [00:55:31] But it needs to be an arcade that younger kids are interested in. Like, they're not going to play Pac-Man, Donkey Kong. I mean, you know, not our idea, but, you know, a gaming center I think would be a great way to meet people. But and I wonder I wonder how that's gone at Northeast because I really don't know anything about it. I just thought it was a really cool idea that they did that. But I do I wish for more opportunities. I've thought recently the first place I met people in Fort Payne was through a knitting and crochet club and I met four other women and we became friends, still friends on Facebook because they've moved and we got together and knit, crochet and talked about our lives. So, you know, you got to make it happen though.

Monica Patton: [00:56:15] Okay. So yeah, just final thoughts on how do we leave in a hopeful mental state about all this? Because, yes, we do know that it's an issue. Connection is an issue for a lot of people. And what would be just, I guess, our final thoughts on where do you start if you don't have it, don't have enough of it. What? What do we what? Where do we start?

Daphne Simpson: [00:56:43] I mean, I think I think developing it, which I think is really hard for some people, but developing it and also putting yourself out there. I mean, I think it does just take you putting yourself out there and possibly risking rejection and knowing that's okay because that's not my person.

Monica Patton: [00:57:02] Yes. And then not to say, okay.

Daphne Simpson: [00:57:05] Forget it.

Monica Patton: [00:57:05] Forget it. I'm not doing that again.

Daphne Simpson: [00:57:08] But be willing to try again.

Monica Patton: [00:57:09] Being willing to try it because you will find you just got to keep you got to keep going. And also, just like one time with someone doesn't make it's not an automatic deep friendship, but it could grow and just keep that in mind, too.

Daphne Simpson: [00:57:23] And look for unusual opportunities. I mean, go to the thing, you know? I mean, like I've tried on some hats that have not fit, but I went to the thing, you know, I've tried the thing.

Monica Patton: [00:57:35] Instead of saying, oh, I hate being around a ton of people because even though that's not really my preferred.

Daphne Simpson: [00:57:41] It's so uncomfortable at first.

Monica Patton: [00:57:42] But but I will say, sometimes I leave like a man. I'm glad that I went because I met a really cool person, you know, not just, I guess, having such fixed ideas of what I don't like. I mean, we do have preferences, but I think just the older we get and just we change and we grow. And if you just get stuck in this mentality of I don't do this, I can not ever be friends with that particular kind of person, Open your mind.

Daphne Simpson: [00:58:10] Yeah, I think you're shutting down a lot of opportunities.

Monica Patton: [00:58:13] And initiate.

Daphne Simpson: [00:58:15] I think it's going to take initiation and purpose. Like this is my purpose. This is what I'm going to do. And setting time aside because people don't do that. And so like we talked about maybe inviting the people along with the things that you have to get done that day.

Monica Patton: [00:58:33] Yeah. So I think that's really good. And listen.

Daphne Simpson: [00:58:35] Be creative.

Monica Patton: [00:58:36] Be creative, drop the shame that it's just you that maybe that you don't. You're the only person that doesn't have friends or have enough friends. I think personally, you know, you can just never have enough people that are feeding into your life. I don't feel like you can have a ton of close friendships, but. Just be open, initiate. Show up for a friend, prioritize friendships, whoever those people are. If you have them, make them. Let them know they're valuable to you. And hopefully, you know, you're getting that as well. And it's never too late.

Daphne Simpson: [00:59:12] No, because life changes over time. So your friendships are going to change, too. You just make it happen. Make it.

Monica Patton: [00:59:19] Make it happen. Daphne, this is great. I always have fun talking to you. I feel like you always have some good, good points to bring up and just the authenticity of your your own personal experience. And, you know, none of us ever have it all figured out.

Daphne Simpson: [00:59:34] Gosh, no.

Monica Patton: [00:59:35] Specifically when it comes to relationships. No.

Daphne Simpson: [00:59:38] I'm working on it. It's a work in progress.

Monica Patton: [00:59:40] Always. Yes. Yes. Well, thanks for being here today.

Daphne Simpson: [00:59:44] Thanks for inviting me.

Monica Patton: [00:59:45] Until next time. Okay. Thank you for listening to Parts of Us podcast. You can visit our website at partsofuspodcast.net or check us out on Instagram. We would love to hear from you whether it be suggestions for the podcast, testimonials, sponsorship opportunities or general feedback. Email us at Monica at parts of us podcast.com or reach out to us on our social media.

Narrator: [01:00:16] This podcast represents the views and opinions of Monica Payton and her guests. Its content is presented for informational, educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be taken as medical, psychological or legal advice. Please contact a professional for specific questions. This content does not represent any place of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information shared is accurate, comments, suggestions or correction of errors are welcome.